Cruelty to Children
Every night millions of parents engage in an activity that is scary could qualify as cruel, place your child has only a few months in a crib, leave the room and ignore their cries on purpose. The child may mourn for 20 minutes or half an hour before one of the two parents decided to return to the bedroom.
At this time, the child is cherished, but sometimes do not take their father's arms and quickly leaves the room. Then the child gets to mourn again.
Eventually the child falls asleep, but the ritual begins again when the child wakes up at night. The same thing happens at night next, except that this time, the father waits five minutes before going to cuddle a little child. This is for a week, two weeks and can be up to a month, if everything happens right, there will come a day when the child can fall asleep without mourn and cry and spend the entire night without being fed.
plans
to our species, the most natural thing for a child is sleeping near his mother during the first years of his life. In fact the norm in societies with social environments similar to ours. Mothers feed their son, frequently until they fall asleep and do the same as the need during the night. One might think that this demands a lot of time but not really the case, when the baby gets to mourn the mother is a reflection of starting to feed and makes practically no waking, waking up really quickly falls asleep, probably Like the child.
One night of 11 hours without eating is not normal for a child of 5 months, we have the test if you look at the nature of the milk itself, is thin and watery, which is typical in species that feed frequently their young. And finally if it is the mother that if she will be neglected to feed her son the night, she runs the risk of saturation pains in the chest and even breast infection.
Our obsession with independence
In Western societies, we are too conditioned to encourage independence of babies and young children. Our attitude is to think that if you do not push them very early in life, they will never be independent and that this will feed their emotional needs ie want to manipulate, to control us.
But in reality there is nothing abnormal or unhealthy to want to see a child constantly beside his mother during the first years of his life. If you stop and consider it initially as a new baby and later as a child growing up, experiencing life, one will realize that their greatest need is to feel reassured by his mother, which is not surprising . The baby girl has spent 9 months in the comfort of his mother's womb, with the comforting heartbeat to soothe your sweet voice. It is difficult to adjust to its new external environment is quite mysterious and often scary, all this takes a while, the baby needs a complete security and protection during this process.
We leave the adults alone when they cry?
Sleeping with your child is a great way to meet their needs to feel comforted by physical contact. The night can be a very frightening time of solitude for babies and toddlers. We adults probably have forgotten everything that was going through his head when we were little, is a bit similar to when parents are lost when the partner is in bed beside her, they are used to stick to a warm body, but despite this, for some reason one is expected to not have babies the same needs.
Should be left to the children a chance to break away from their parents and naturally acquire emotional maturity and independence, to accelerate this process can cause the child to be insecure and realize that their basic needs are not met. Young children appear on the surface as if they could cope with any level of insecurity and even neglect to which they are exposed, there is that is the fact that many parents think they can leave their babies unattended mourn alone and that this did not makes no harm.
future problems are not
However, there is a cost or consequence of this lack of proximity, developing confidence and security in these crucial years of childhood. The consequences can be subtle and will not be felt immediately, but that does not mean none exist. We just have to look at the relationships between people (or lack of relationships between people) and as adults we can easily see, that's not how it should be.
With all our insecurities, our lack of confidence in ourselves, cruelty and violence toward others, inability to maintain stable relationships, our rampant materialism, mental illness and depression, the growing rate high suicide (just to name a few), we began to realize that most adults have such difficulty in various circumstances about love, trust, acceptance and emotional safety.
( http://www.empathicparenting.org/
Translated by MPS)
