November 2010

fundamental reasons for not hitting their children 's

"It is outrageous and tyrannical treatment would undoubtedly be regarded as an insult if it were inflicted on adults .... Also, the pain and fear imposed on the victim are so humiliating that they constitute a dangerous attack on decency. This feeling of shame mutilates and degrades the soul, causing them to flee and hate the light of day ... "
Quintilian, 35-95 ac

" But what will not believe when you hear me speak is that some people are encouraged to indulge in lust by the blows of the rods and that the beatings they burn them in a lewd calls .... A rare example of power that violence educational behaviors rooted in our customs perverts "

Johann Heinrich Meibom, MD, 1629

punishment, hitting the creature, the hij @ s, physical abuse and psychological culture is today in our society is unjust and inhumane practice has been passed down from generation to generation, as most repeats what was in the infancy of a conscious or unconscious, and often the lack of knowledge or listen to what you can tell your feelings to an adult, does not dare or could break this cycle of violence.

is common

hear someone say "punished for their good", "with one hand you love with another is punished," let the whip and watch it spoils your hij @ "," the rod and spoil, etc. Unfortunately for most adults, it seems the only way to educate and raise their children, as tyrannical. Françoise Dolto said that "people educate their children as the chief governing people" (A) .

also is important to analyze what these alleged "bad behavior"-named for the adults and their design varies from person to person other de l @ s children do infuriate both men and women, who often also base such corporal punishment, and therefore psychological, according to the doctrines and philosophies of life which have, as their perception of reality that depends on it, "it's to implement their ideology regardless of the suffering and physical and psychological consequences that entails punishment for l @ s hij @ s.

should not be forgotten that this abuse is often also caused by the activation of a psychological defense mechanism human being (B) "Displacement," which makes one vent their own frustrations on the weakest, an example of this may be the husband who has been abused at work by a superior, comes home and vents his anger at his wife or their children 's.

scene is not shocking and hard for most to see a parent beat or mistreated his hij @ in public areas-left to the imagination to see how it will be in private, but this would be a scandal if all would come to help if it were a woman or a man being abused @.

Why this difference in treatment?, Why such indifference or acceptance of mistreatment of a human being?: It simply as Françoise Dolto (B) said, the creature is not seen as a "person" with the same feelings and rights as an adult, there is an unconscious denial of the whole society as such reconocerl @.

Ten reasons not to hit their children 's

By Jan Hunt

in 29 countries (1) around world, it is illegal for parents, teachers or anyone else hit a / the babysitter and 113 countries prohibit corporal punishment in schools. Even throughout North America, physical punishment by a parent, although not severe, it is still seen by many as a necessary discipline and approved, or sadly even encouraged.

During recent years, many psychiatrists, sociological researchers and parents have called for serious reflection to ban corporal punishment at Niñ @ s @ s. According to Dr. Peter Newell, coordinator of the association EPOCH (2) (End Punishment of Children or terminate the punishment of l @ s s obesity), the most important reason for this prohibition is that " all human beings have the right to protect his physical integrity, l @ s s obesity are also human beings "(3).

Hitting Niñ @ s @ s taught to hit. Numerous studies are now available and support the theory that there is a direct correlation between corporal punishment in childhood and aggressive or violent behavior as a teenager or adult. No single dangerous criminal who has not been regularly threatened and beaten while he was Niñ @. Nature has provided that l @ s @ s Niñ learn attitudes and behaviors through observation and imitation of the actions of their parents, for better or for worse. It is therefore the responsibility of both parents being an example of empathy and wisdom.
In many cases in which one calls "bad behavior", the creature does nothing but respond in the only way he knows, depending on age and experience, to point out that their basic needs have been neglected. Among these needs is: a dream and an appropriate supply, treatment of allergies sometimes hidden, fresh air, exercise and enough freedom to explore the world around him / her. In our society always so down, just get s obesity long enough care from his father and mother, who are often distracted by their own problems and occupations to treat their children 's patience and empathy. It is certainly wrong and unfair to punish a child because he / she responds in a natural way to feel a strong need to be careful. For this reason, punishment is not only ineffective in the long term, but is also patently unfair.
punishment prevents the child learn to resolve conflict effectively and humanely. As the educator John Holt wrote: "When you scare a / a babysitter, we prevent him outright to learn." A / a babysitter and beaten @ is focused on their feelings of anger and their fantasies of revenge. Thus, it is private @ the opportunity to learn more effective ways to solve the problem, which is facing @. Thus, a battered child learns very little about the way it should react to similar situations in the future, or how to avoid these situations.
The phrase "Avoid the rod and spoil your child" comes from Samuel Butler's "Hudibras" a satirical poem of the seventeenth century. The poem and the novel The Way of All Flesh, was written to expose and denounce violence against Niñ l @ s @ s. Ironically it is now used to justify corporal punishment and other punitive actions against Niñ l @ s @ s.
punishment interfere with the strong bond between fathers, mothers and hij @ s, because it is human nature to feel total love for someone hurts us. The true spirit of cooperation, to which every mother and father hopes, can only be developed through a very strong bond based on mutual feelings of love and respect. The punishment, though it seems to work, can only produce a good performance in appearance because it is based on fear, and this true only until the child is old enough not to resist. On the contrary, cooperation based on respect will last permanently, bringing many years of mutual happiness as parents l @ s hij @ s spend their years together.
Many parents never learned in the course of his own childhood, there are positive ways to tie a relationship with Niñ @ l @ s s. When the punishment does not allow for the objectives and if parents do not know alternative methods, there is a risk to the growth of increasingly frequent punishments and actions against dangerous creatures.
The anger and frustration when they can not be expressed without risk to the baby are stored inside, angry teenagers do not fall from heaven. The anger that has been accumulated over many years can cause a shock to parents cuy @ s hij @ s already feel strong enough to express their rage. The punishment can allow to obtain a "good behavior" the early years, but this will always be at a great price which will be paid by parents and society as a whole, when the child reaches adolescence and then adulthood.
The beatings on the buttocks, an erogenous zone in childhood, can create in the mind of the creature an association between pain and sexual pleasure and create difficulties in adulthood. The ads "seeks to be beaten on the buttocks" in newspapers tested the sad consequences of this confusion between pain and pleasure. If a child receives little attention and care from their parents, except when hit, runs the risk of mixing in his mind the concepts of pain and pleasure. A child in this situation have little confidence in themselves and believe they deserve no better. To learn more about this topic, read "The sexual threats of punishment on the buttocks " (C) .

Even relatively moderate spanking can be physically dangerous. The blows inflicted on the tip of the spinal column send shock waves throughout the column, and can harm the baby. The prevalence of low back pain in adult l @ s @ s in our society may well find their origins in the punishment of children. Some Niñ @ s @ s been crippled by damage to nerves due to penalties and even some have died after moderate shots, due to medical complications undiagnosed
Corporal punishment conveys the message both dangerous and unfair "force of law" and that is acceptable to hit anyone , while the smallest otr @ @ and is weaker than an @. The creature then concludes that it is possible to abuse @ s otr @ s obesity younger or smaller @ s. When will become adult @, suffer little compassion for those @ s that have less opportunity he or she and fear those @ s that are more powerful @ so strong. Therefore it makes it harder to create relationships signiticativas that are essential to a full life in terms of emotions.
Because l @ s @ s Niñ learning through models that represent their parents, corporal punishment sends the message that hitting is a way appropriate to express their feelings and solve problems. If a child has no chance of watching their parents to solve problems in a creative and sensitive, it can be difficult to learn to do it for him / herself @. For this reason, he / she so often plays this kind of incompetent parenting on the next generation. }

A sweet education, underpinned by a strong foundation of love and respect is the only true way to get a recommended behavior, based on strong personal values \u200b\u200bin exchange for a 'good' surface behavior, based solely on fear .

(1) Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Austria, Croatia, Cyprus, Latvia, Israel, Germany, Bulgaria, Iceland , Romania, Ukraine, Hungary, Greece, Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Uruguay, Venezuela, Spain, Republic of Moldova, Costa Rica, Luxembourg, Liechtenstein, Tunisia, Poland and Kenya (Source: http://www.endcorporalpunishment.org/pages/progress/prohib_states.html )

(2) EPOCH Worldwide, 77 Holloway Road, London UK

N78JZ

( 3) Personal communication

Note: A previous version of this article has been published in the Annex of the book Abattre le mur du silence of Alice Miller (Paris: Aubier Montaigne, 1992)

article in English: Ten

Reasons Not to hit your kids

French version:

Dix raisons de ne pas frapper vos enfants

Referencias